25 weeks & Ultrasound results!

So this is my last evening at 25 weeks and I figured I would wait until after my appointment to update today. So the most important news is my ultrasound results from my last ultrasound. Well the CNM's (certified nurse midwives) are starting to suspect more and more that I have Intrauterine Growth Restriction (IUGR). Basically IUGR is when the baby is not growing appropriately for its gestational age. From what Ive read there arent specific things that definitively cause IUGR but there are correlations between IUGR and things such as smoking, drug use,etc. Obviously for me these things arent related and actually the CNM said that looking at my chart and at me she wouldnt have guessed that I would be at-risk for IUGR.

But looking at my ultrasound results and doing some research I have found it is common w/ IUGR babies to have a head that is the correct size for gestational age with other body measurements measuring small which is exactly what little buddy has. Basically the midwives said though that it is a really good sign that his head is close to normal size she said that when the head is also measuring behind it is definitely more serious so that is one good thing. I have another ultrasound scheduled for Dec 21st and she said after that ultrasound they will have enough measurements to make a determination if it is actually IUGR or just a small baby. If it is IUGR my next step will be bedrest--I jokingly told her I already do nothing so I dont know how much more restricted my lifestyle can get haha

But back to the serious stuff....I feel like after feeling so confident in previous posts about how I am managing this I will say that after my appointment today I just feel a litte more shaken with this information. I have been praying that this would just be a little baby and not IUGR because there are obviously so many more negative things that result in an IUGR baby (ex: having to be induced, likelihood of pre-eclampsia, bed rest, etc.)

I have really been struggling just tonight with keeping my thoughts focused on the Lord. I know that HE is the Ultimate doctor for my little buddy, I know that HE is the perfect creator and that little buddy is being formed inside me as a perfect child for me and donnie, I know that God will never give me more than I can handle (I praise God for stories like Job, as a friend reminded me, He never gives more than you can handle so apparently he has more faith in me than I have in myself) I know that little buddy is not mine, he is already the Lords and that regardless of how anything turns out--it is God's perfect plan and will and the Lord is justified and merciful in everything he gives me to deal with. I know that God is SO FAITHFUL he has stood by me everytime, and everything has always been okay and I have managed every other time and every circumstance has had its purpose so this time and this circumstance will be no different.

These are the things "I know" now its a matter of literally repeating these over and over again until my sinful heart starts to "get it". I know after talking with a friend that many of these concepts are things I need to start learning now because as soon as little buddy is here these truths come more and more into play (particularly knowing that little buddy is NOT MINE but the Lords!) I am working on staying positive, not letting my fears get ahold of me, trusting in God, and praying. I know that I have a God who has no limits-- anything is possible with him. so I AM praying that at my next ultrasound the Lord will have grown little buddy to a healthy size and that all will be "normal". I am not bashful in asking this because I know that if it is His will, it is totally a possiblity! I just praise God for giving me so much grace--just the right amount to keep me sane and continually turning to Him. HE IS SO GOOD!

So on a more positive note here is my "fun" survey about my 25th week of pregnancy:
How far along? 25 weeks

Weight gain? I am officially up 9lbs from my lowest weight this pregnancy! I am still about 9 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight but I feel good that I am gaining! (never thought I would say that...ever...in my life) It seems I am gaining about 3-4lbs a month which is good--or at least better than nothing!

Maternity clothes? still rockin them! Oh and fun fact, maternity panty hose are much more comfortable than non-maternity pantyhose. I think this may be another maternity item that sneaks into my non-maternity wardrobe after little buddy is here.

Sleep? I have been sleeping a little better. We are still roughing it in our little queen sized bed :-)

Best moment this week? Renewing my vows with my husband-- our church had a church wide vow renewal service to mark the end of a sermon series on mercy in marriage. It was really fun, they had a reception afterward complete with a wedding cake and dancing. It was so much more meaningful to look into my husbands eyes and make these promises knowing how much work goes into it, how hard it is to keep those promises daily. It made me really stop and think about how blessed I am to have such a God-fearing, loving, supportive, husband. He truly is my best friend and I wouldnt want to be sharing my life with anyone else.

Food cravings? pizza...mmm and I really want another piece of wedding cake from that reception...seriously our table was all about some wedding cake it doesnt help that there were two preggo's sitting right next to each other

Labor signs? none thank God!!! I am praying that I dont have any of these for at least another 11 weeks...AT LEAST and that my braxton hicks would go away because they are annoying
Belly button? Innie--as always

What I miss most? bending over w/ ease haha this makes for a funny mental picture when you imagine a pregnant lady w/ a screwy center of balance who cant bend over trying to put on pantyhose...it was a risky operation but a success

What I'm looking forward to most? my upcoming baby shower--I have the best friends and family! I am really so lucky to have people around me that are so supportive and loving--I appreciate it more than you all could know!

Milestones? I think Donnie felt the baby for the 1st time. It is still up for debate, he didnt seem very excited but I am thinking it may be becuase his kicks are still so weak that it was such a tiny tap from the outside that Donnie was a little disappointed. But I know once Donnie gets to feel his 1st jab he will be more excited--DONNIE READ BETWEEN THE LINES (I know he reads my blog ha) ACT EXCITED NEXT TIME YOU FEEL THE BABY MOVE! I MEAN, ACT REALLY EXCITED! haha so that is about it. Oh and another fun fact...as of today I am exactly 99 days away from my due date! yay for double digits!