I enjoy being busy because I like having things going on that I look forward too but I also hate feeling like I cant pause and enjoy the moment because there is always somewhere else to be...that being said this weekend felt so busy--Donnie has been working insane hours, I think he worked something like 115 hours in 9 days?! It is such a blessing that his company is doing so well, and of course his paychecks are awesome but I miss him, alot...I think Nicholas does too
Between him being gone at work for roughly 12 hours everyday by the time he gets home, we eat dinner, feed nicholas and put him down its time for bed already and then it happens all over again and heaven forbid our grass needs mowing because than we REALLY dont see Donnie--so when weekends come I want them to not be busy but this weekend felt packed
I had my 5 year high school reunion which is kind of weird to have and kind of weird that I went but I more just wanted an excuse to dress cute (meaning wear something other than jeans and a tshirt and flip flops) and feel like a "normal" 23 year old--Ursuline does all-school reunion kind of things like this reunion was for the class of 2005, 2000, 1995, 1990, 1985, 1980, etc. So its interesting (sidenote: it will be really fun because when I have my 10 year reunion my little sister will be having her 5 reunion at the same time!)--it started with mass and then a cocktail hour (naturally) then dinner, dancing etc. It was funny because even though the invitations were for alums and their spouses/significant others there werent really many men there (even for the older women) and the men that were in attendance looked like the boys at a UA high school dance--they were being dragged around by their wives, being used to take pictures and refill drinks haha it was really strange being back in the school even though it has physically changed alot
There was one distinct moment when I was in the restroom with all of my high school friends (the bathrooms hadnt changed a bit) and we were walking out into the hallway joking and I was like wow--I feel like nothing has changed and I am back in highschool...all I needed was my plaid skirt and I woulda been there. But really, since its only been 5 years not too much has changed--I recently got a letter in the mail, I wrote it to myself my senior year of high school and my teachers just mailed it--in the letter I wrote about where I wanted to be in 5 years and much to my surprise it was pretty acurate for my life. I wanted to be married to Donnie, check, (we started dating my jr. year of high school and I knew from our 1st date on that we were going to get married haha), I wanted to be graduated from college w/ a degree that enabled me to do some sort of counseling, check, I wanted to maybe have a child/be pregnant, check, My group of friends has somewhat changed but I still keep in touch with all of my friends from back then--in getting this letter it just reaffirmed how much I love my life and how happy I've been with all of my big life decisions
When looking at my high school friends I sometimes feel like the odd man out because I married my high school sweetheart, I have bills/mortgage to pay, I dont go out every night, I have a baby, I dont go on extravagent trips to vegas or L.A., etc. I just sometimes feel like I'm not normal for my age but then I look at Nicholas and Donnie and I wouldnt trade any of it for the world....I love my guys :-), I like that I am settled down--I enjoy more just hanging out w/ my husband and baby than going out and yes I had a blast at my reunion and going out afterward but I'm just not made for that lifestyle--my feet were killing me (I wore my little sisters 5 inch heels which I think caused permanent damage to my feet), I was tired, I'm too cheap to drink anything but beer, I came home and was exhausted and knew I pushed myself too far by staying out w/ my old high school friends and now 2 days later I am paying for it as I sit here sick on the couch
My life is so good though and has turned out infinitely better than what 18 year old me could have imagined--I think I should probably write myself a letter again now and hide it away for another 5 years--its fun to see what I was thinking and what my goals were and if I had achieved them...I think my life is actually only going to get more fun as time goes on and that "my old glory days" were not so much glory days haha
Monday, June 21, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Little Peanut
I hate that I only update my blog like once a month now....I would do it more often but honestly my life is pretty boring and I find I dont really have much to blog about other than Nicholas but I know that him doing something cute is much more exciting to me than it probably is to most people that being said...
He is so stinkin cute! I think I probably say that at least 10x's a day still, I wonder if I will ever get used to his cuteness or if I will always think he is unusually cute? He is doing pretty well--his 3 month stats are 8lbs, 20in. which is pretty good. He is still in the 0 percentile lol but his head circumference is on the charts :-) At his appointment today the dr. showed me his growth chart and he was on a great growth curve which aligned with the normal growth curve it was just below it (parallel to the "normal" curve though if that makes any sense). I was starting to be a little concerned because in the last 2 weeks or so Nicholas has been sleeping A TON!
I know, I know...what mom complains/worries about too much sleep? Well...I do haha He was sleeping from 10:30pm-8:30am (which was me waking him up at 8:30-he would have slept longer) I feed him and by 9am he is sleeping again until I wake him up at 12:30 and then by 1pm he is sleeping again then I wake him up at 3:30pm feed him and back to sleep again usually for about an hour or two then is up until 7:30 then he takes random 20 min cat naps between 7:30-10:30....so basically he spends way more time sleeping than being awake which I thought at first was just a growth spurt but in the last couple days he hasnt been eating as much at his feedings and he is very dissinterested in eating so I went ahead and called the pediatrician
We went today and all is well (he looks super healthy!) The pediatrician wasnt concerned about the sleep on its own only in combination with him eating less--basically we need to be fortifying his bottles of milk more than we already are (we were doing 1tsp of formula mixed in w/ every bottle of breastmilk now we need to do 2tsp of formula mixed in to every bottle) He needs to be eating about 18oz./day to maintain and gain weight so the pedi said as long as he is eating that amount I should just let him sleep when he wants to sleep
This is such a relief! I have really been struggling w/ my anxiety lately about Nicholas and his health. Its hard to differentiate between normal mommy worry and worry that is above and beyond---its like as soon as anything variates I assume its something serious and life threatening for example: with the sleeping stuff instead of thinking "oh he is sleeping more maybe its just a growth spurt or a phase" I think "He has some serious genetic condition and he is going to die"...literally I have these thoughts...not okay! I dont know if its because of all the pregnancy complications and him being so small still that I just go to the worst case scenario--and if it is because of the experiences in the past am I always going to be extra worried about his health for the rest of his life or will I ever feel like we are "out of the woods"? I dont know...maybe some other moms can chime in on this
I hate the anxiety and worry and not because it physically and emotionally is so horrible but because all I can think of is how incredibly SINFUL it is ugh! I hate that in my worrying I recognize I am being sinful yet I struggle with taking my thoughts captive--a good friend recommend in those times just have a running list going through what I am thankful for and man! I have a LOT to be thankful for! But then it makes me feel even worse because I think my worry=me doubting Gods sovereignty which is so horrible since God has been so good to me! He has blessed me, kept my child safe and healthy, He is just so faithful and here I am worrying still! You would think by now that I would know that God is in control of everything! It just scares me how much I love Nicholas because its so all encompassing...like nothing Ive ever experienced! The love for your child is something no one can prepare you for--that instant bond and overwhelming love is incredible...and scary :-)
So now that Nicholas is 3 months old he is changing so much everyday (at least it seems that way) he has great head control and loves to look around (he is incredibly nosy haha) he has come really really close to rolling over a few times and I swear once his arms are a little stronger he will be crawling because when hes on his belly his legs already like push his body forward and he wiggles across the floor--it is ridiculous to seem him do all these things (including the head control) because its like looking at a newborn doing these things! He amazes strangers who dont realize he is 3 months old haha and I'm okay not correcting them--let them think my newborn baby smiles on demand and holds his head up haha
hmmm...nothing really else going on, things are great, life is awesome and God is good :-) Oh here is a clip of a commercial I really enjoy because it is so ridic! The Coolest You'll Look Pooping Your Pants (and no its not vulgar) it makes me laugh everytime because I just think of little Nicholas walking in them haha
He is so stinkin cute! I think I probably say that at least 10x's a day still, I wonder if I will ever get used to his cuteness or if I will always think he is unusually cute? He is doing pretty well--his 3 month stats are 8lbs, 20in. which is pretty good. He is still in the 0 percentile lol but his head circumference is on the charts :-) At his appointment today the dr. showed me his growth chart and he was on a great growth curve which aligned with the normal growth curve it was just below it (parallel to the "normal" curve though if that makes any sense). I was starting to be a little concerned because in the last 2 weeks or so Nicholas has been sleeping A TON!
I know, I know...what mom complains/worries about too much sleep? Well...I do haha He was sleeping from 10:30pm-8:30am (which was me waking him up at 8:30-he would have slept longer) I feed him and by 9am he is sleeping again until I wake him up at 12:30 and then by 1pm he is sleeping again then I wake him up at 3:30pm feed him and back to sleep again usually for about an hour or two then is up until 7:30 then he takes random 20 min cat naps between 7:30-10:30....so basically he spends way more time sleeping than being awake which I thought at first was just a growth spurt but in the last couple days he hasnt been eating as much at his feedings and he is very dissinterested in eating so I went ahead and called the pediatrician
We went today and all is well (he looks super healthy!) The pediatrician wasnt concerned about the sleep on its own only in combination with him eating less--basically we need to be fortifying his bottles of milk more than we already are (we were doing 1tsp of formula mixed in w/ every bottle of breastmilk now we need to do 2tsp of formula mixed in to every bottle) He needs to be eating about 18oz./day to maintain and gain weight so the pedi said as long as he is eating that amount I should just let him sleep when he wants to sleep
This is such a relief! I have really been struggling w/ my anxiety lately about Nicholas and his health. Its hard to differentiate between normal mommy worry and worry that is above and beyond---its like as soon as anything variates I assume its something serious and life threatening for example: with the sleeping stuff instead of thinking "oh he is sleeping more maybe its just a growth spurt or a phase" I think "He has some serious genetic condition and he is going to die"...literally I have these thoughts...not okay! I dont know if its because of all the pregnancy complications and him being so small still that I just go to the worst case scenario--and if it is because of the experiences in the past am I always going to be extra worried about his health for the rest of his life or will I ever feel like we are "out of the woods"? I dont know...maybe some other moms can chime in on this
I hate the anxiety and worry and not because it physically and emotionally is so horrible but because all I can think of is how incredibly SINFUL it is ugh! I hate that in my worrying I recognize I am being sinful yet I struggle with taking my thoughts captive--a good friend recommend in those times just have a running list going through what I am thankful for and man! I have a LOT to be thankful for! But then it makes me feel even worse because I think my worry=me doubting Gods sovereignty which is so horrible since God has been so good to me! He has blessed me, kept my child safe and healthy, He is just so faithful and here I am worrying still! You would think by now that I would know that God is in control of everything! It just scares me how much I love Nicholas because its so all encompassing...like nothing Ive ever experienced! The love for your child is something no one can prepare you for--that instant bond and overwhelming love is incredible...and scary :-)
So now that Nicholas is 3 months old he is changing so much everyday (at least it seems that way) he has great head control and loves to look around (he is incredibly nosy haha) he has come really really close to rolling over a few times and I swear once his arms are a little stronger he will be crawling because when hes on his belly his legs already like push his body forward and he wiggles across the floor--it is ridiculous to seem him do all these things (including the head control) because its like looking at a newborn doing these things! He amazes strangers who dont realize he is 3 months old haha and I'm okay not correcting them--let them think my newborn baby smiles on demand and holds his head up haha
hmmm...nothing really else going on, things are great, life is awesome and God is good :-) Oh here is a clip of a commercial I really enjoy because it is so ridic! The Coolest You'll Look Pooping Your Pants (and no its not vulgar) it makes me laugh everytime because I just think of little Nicholas walking in them haha
Monday, May 17, 2010
slacker
I have been a complete and total slacker in my blogging--who knew that having only 1 baby would take up so much time?! Megan and I often sit back and laugh at how we were such fools...we had these lavish dreams of being stay at home moms who would have all the free time in the world, I mean what would we do to keep ourselves from getting bored with our newborns? We had visions of afternoon walks and picnics in the park
HA! we were such FOOLS! Our "afternoon walks and picnics in the park" are us sitting cramped in a nursery begrudginly pumping/nursing our babies and talking about how we havent gotten out of the house in a week and when we did we were covered in spit up :-)
That being said please dont get me wrong, I do absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE being a stay at home mom, I cant believe how blessed I am to have a husband who works extra hard so that I have the luxury (and yes I know how much of a true luxury it is) to stay home and cherish my baby every minute of every day....it hurts my heart to think that I would have already had to be back at work at this point had I decided to work/stay in grad school--to miss seeing every little change in Nicholas is something that I wouldnt be able to handle.
Speaking of changes, little Nicky is changing so much! He is 2months old now (well actually 11 weeks old on Wed--I admitted I was a slacker) At his 2 month appointment he was 6lbs 2oz. and 19.25 in long, as of last Tues he was 6lbs 8oz so I am sure by this point he is at least 7lbs! EEK! At dinner tonight our waiter guessed Nicholas was a week old...this is a regular occurance along with people not being able to help themselves from being nosy--its always awkward when after I explain, "no he wasnt a preemie, he was full term just very small" when people ask "do they know why he is so tiny? what happened" ...."well it all started 9 months ago when I suffered from a condition called hyperemesis..."
Honestly, what do people expect me to say? I just smile and use each time to remember he is tiny but mighty and when I am able to proudly say that he didnt spend any time in the NICU I am reminded of how great our God is, how incredibly blessed I am and just how amazing Nicholas really is. At his two month appointment he got his first round of shots, he handled them like a champ, me on the other hand, well I cried before they even gave him his first, the nurse walked into the room w/ them and I started bawling, he got the shots then let out a few little cries, I held him and rocked him and he was fine promptly 2 mins later, while I was still crying and the dr left the room saying, "I'll just give you a few minutes to compose yourself" haha
He is doing okay growth wise, not amazing but not bad just average I suppose. I think they were wanting to see a little more growth than what he had but nothing to worry about. He also began struggling with acid reflux at around 7 weeks but we got him on zantac and that seems to be helping so far. They also heard a slight heart murmur which had me freaking out. The dr said its really common and only about 1 in 100 kids ever end up needing surgery to fix it--well I AM THE 1 in 100!! (clearly from my pregnancy I dont have the greatest luck in medically related things). Well thankfully I didnt pass my bad luck on to Nicholas and after an appt with a cardiologist we know we have nothing to worry about and no follow up appt was even needed :-) Praise God!
Nicholas is starting to smile ALOT more and it melts my heart--I literally spend at least an hour a day holding him and just looking at him/talking to him--listening to his little sounds and watching his smiles really make me a happy lady. He is so close to laughing that Donnie and I are just waiting to hear it. I cant wait to watch him grow and change, with him being as tiny as he is I cant picture him as anything but a tiny baby--I cant even picture him being the size of a normal 6 month old baby--like he will always be a little peanut in my eyes. He really is my little buddy :-)
My Guys--Nicholas and Daddy cuddling, my favorite thing to see every afternoon!
Monday, April 12, 2010
Short & Sweet
This is my short and sweet birth story for anyone who wants to know what happened but doesnt want to read all about placenta and afterbirth :-)
Monday March 1st-
9:45pm- Cervadil inserted to begin ripening my cervix- I was 1-2cm, 50% effaced and -1 station
10:00pm-membranes stripped which caused mild contractions and back pain
Tues March 2nd-
9:30am- removed cervadil 2cm, 70% effaced and -1 station
11:00am- started Pitocin on lowest dose (2)
3:00pm- Checked again, Pitocin dose was now at 20 (highest dose), still no regular contractions, continued back pain, membranes stripped again
3:30pm- got into birthing tub, contractions were now regular and strong 1min long 2 mins apart(meaning 1 minute break between each 1 minute long contraction)
6:00pm- Devon (my doula/sister) left briefly, I got out of the birthing tub, contractions were still 1 min long, 2 mins apart
7:45pm- Devon returned, checked again-4cm, 70% effaced -1 station contractions still 2 mins apart 1 min long
8:15pm- got in birth tub again, really strong contractions starting to get closer together
9:45pm- checked again still 4cm, 70% effaced
10:00pm- recieved Nubaine shot for pain management, contractions were now non-stop with no break in between each contraction
11:10pm- sat up to begin getting an Epidural
11:30pm- Epidural was placed--it takes 20-30 mins for the meds to begin working, still 4cm, 70% effaced
11:52pm- Checked again I was now 7-8cm and my midwife broke my water
11:56pm- checked again I was now 10cm, 100% effaced ready to go
Wed March 3rd-
12:02am- began pushing, I pushed 7 times, reached down and felt his head
12:13am- Nicholas is born!!
Monday March 1st-
9:45pm- Cervadil inserted to begin ripening my cervix- I was 1-2cm, 50% effaced and -1 station
10:00pm-membranes stripped which caused mild contractions and back pain
Tues March 2nd-
9:30am- removed cervadil 2cm, 70% effaced and -1 station
11:00am- started Pitocin on lowest dose (2)
3:00pm- Checked again, Pitocin dose was now at 20 (highest dose), still no regular contractions, continued back pain, membranes stripped again
3:30pm- got into birthing tub, contractions were now regular and strong 1min long 2 mins apart(meaning 1 minute break between each 1 minute long contraction)
6:00pm- Devon (my doula/sister) left briefly, I got out of the birthing tub, contractions were still 1 min long, 2 mins apart
7:45pm- Devon returned, checked again-4cm, 70% effaced -1 station contractions still 2 mins apart 1 min long
8:15pm- got in birth tub again, really strong contractions starting to get closer together
9:45pm- checked again still 4cm, 70% effaced
10:00pm- recieved Nubaine shot for pain management, contractions were now non-stop with no break in between each contraction
11:10pm- sat up to begin getting an Epidural
11:30pm- Epidural was placed--it takes 20-30 mins for the meds to begin working, still 4cm, 70% effaced
11:52pm- Checked again I was now 7-8cm and my midwife broke my water
11:56pm- checked again I was now 10cm, 100% effaced ready to go
Wed March 3rd-
12:02am- began pushing, I pushed 7 times, reached down and felt his head
12:13am- Nicholas is born!!
My Birth Story
***THIS IS THE LONG VERSION MY NEXT POST WILL BE THE CONDENSED "BARE BONES" DETAILS FOR ANYONE WHO DOESNT WANT TO READ THIS NOVEL***
Nicholas James Glenn
Born 3/3/2010 at 12:13am
3lbs 6.9oz & 15.5 inches long
**Words of caution: this birth story does contain medical phrases, body parts, etc. so if this makes you uncomfortable—don’t read haha**
I don’t know where to even begin in my birth story with Nicholas—my pregnancy was anything but easy with my experiences with hyperemesis gravidarum during weeks 5-16 of my pregnancy. My hyperemesis caused me to be on modified bed rest with 24/7 IV hydration, a zofran pump and home health care. I thankfully was given a “break” from all the crazy medical stuff during weeks 16-28—during this time I only had moderate nausea/vomiting, mild weight loss and was able to be active (meaning no bed rest, no IV pole, etc.) During this break we found that Nicholas was small for his gestational age and we were monitored closely—unfortunately his growth continued to drop lower and lower and at 28 weeks he was officially diagnosed with IUGR (intrauterine growth restriction) and I was admitted to Good Samaritan Hospital to be on strict bed rest. From weeks 28-37 I was on strict bed rest at the hospital and then was scheduled to be induced at 37 weeks (which is medically considered full term). At Nicholas’ last ultrasound (on Feb 16th) they guessed his weight to be 3lbs 7oz. and my induction was scheduled for two weeks later.
While I was on bed rest my prenatal care was transferred to the Maternal Fetal Medicine doctors at Good Sam which work with high-risk moms but thankfully we made it to full term and I was able to be transferred back to my midwives for my delivery. My induction began on Monday, March 1st. To start the induction they used a medication called cervadil-this works to ripen and thin out the cervix and prepare it for dilation and labor. I was originally going to be administered this at 9pm and stay on the special care OB floor (where I had been for the past 2 months). But since the midwives had no idea how my body or Nicholas would react to the cervadil they decided to go ahead and move me to the labor and delivery suite in case of an emergency. Devon (my sister and doula) and Donnie were with me as we packed up my room and headed over to L&D. I was really excited and wanting to get things going—I was so ready to meet my baby and to be that much closer to being off bed rest! They let me walk to L&D (which I hadn’t been allowed to do for 9 weeks!) When we got to L&D, my midwife Sue, explained the cervadil to me and put it in. Going into this induction I knew that there was a very high chance that my delivery would result in an emergency c-section as IUGR babies often don’t react well to labor. Donnie and I were really hoping to avoid a c-section, but we knew that the chances of having a successful vaginal delivery, let alone a med-free (pain med free) vaginal delivery were very slim. I had been praying that my body had naturally started to prepare itself for labor despite it being 3 weeks before my due date—when Sue checked me before putting the Cervadil in I was 1-2cm, 50% effaced and -1 station! I was so happy because I knew starting out at this point my chances of a successful induction were increased.
So at 10pm on Monday night the Cervadil was inserted (and Sue stripped my membranes which is often done to help jumpstart labor also) and I was given an ambien to help me sleep through the night (knowing that the plan was to start pitocin in the morning). At this point Devon went home, planning on coming back early the next morning—cervadil is a 12 hour long medication that sometimes needs to be administered more than once before it works. I could tell that it was working somewhat that night because I wasn’t able to sleep at all because it started very mild contractions and a lot of bad back pain (which was a foreshadowing to really bad back labor).
In the morning Sue’s shift was over and Kim, a different midwife, took over. At this point Devon came back and my other sister Kate came to work and was assigned me as a patient—having my sisters there as support made a HUGE difference in my labor experience and I will be forever grateful for their encouragement, support and love. At 9:30am Kim came and removed my cervadil and checked me again—I was at a solid 2cms of dilation, 70% effaced and -1 station—so some progress had been made but not much, but enough to start the Pitocin. Pitocin is a synthetic form of oxytocin which causes your body to contract. I was scared to start the Pit because it is known for causing really strong contractions and for making pain-med free labors much more difficult. I was still really hopeful on remaining pain-med free at this point. Kate begrudgingly started my pitocin (we joked that she had to be the ‘bad sister’—always coming to up my pitocin dosage to make stronger contractions while Devon got to be the ‘good sister’ who just sat and comforted me haha) So at 11am the pitocin was started on the lowest dose (2)—it could be increased up to the highest dose of 20. Unfortunately being on the lowest dose- it didn’t cause contractions so Kate had to continually up the dosage. During this time I walked the halls hoping that contractions would start, I had to be on the fetal monitor the entire time I was in labor (they put me on the monitors from the time they started the cervadil the night before) With Nicholas being so small and me having an anterior placenta the monitors did not like to stay on him. I had a difficult time finding positions that would allow him to stay on the monitor the entire time. By 3pm, Kim checked me again and I was at 3-4cm, 70% effaced and still -1 station. Kim also stripped my membranes again (which caused some contractions the last time it was done) Kate had the pitocin turned up to the maximum dose and this was when my labor really started. With the pitocin being so high when I started having contractions they were hard and close together—1 minute long, 2 minutes apart. I essentially would have a minute of rest between the contractions.
At this point I was still in early labor, I was excited that the contractions had actually started (even though they were really intense and close together). I was able to use my Bradley relaxation techniques to help with the pain. Devon and Donnie both encouraged me to breathe through each contraction, relax my entire body and just take one contraction at a time. I was still talking, joking, etc. at this point (a clear sign of early labor despite the close contractions). At 3:30pm Kate had the birthing tub brought into my room and I got into that. The birthing tub was a complete lifesaver for me! It dramatically helped my contractions (which were close and also in my back which was really painful). I labored in the tub until about 6pm. During this time I started to get a little more serious, not talking as much, but still managing fine. At 6pm, Devon left to briefly go home to put her son to bed (knowing I was still in early labor and it was going to be a while). I also got out of the tub at 6pm which was horrible. It was much more difficult to handle my contractions but I wanted to try some different positions to get him moving and to keep my labor going. At this point the contractions were intense but the minute long break between each contraction was enough to keep them manageable. I even joked that I didn’t understand why women get epidurals (haha this would come to bite me in the butt) having the break in between each one made it so that I was able to rest and prepare for the next one. At around 7:30pm Devon came back and at 7:45pm I was checked again. At this point the contractions were starting to get much more difficult and seemed to be closer together. When I was checked this time I was at 4cm, 70% effaced and still -1 station. This is when things began to get tough—the contractions were really intense in my back and the exhaustion of being up for over 24hours was kicking in. I was no longer joking, talking, etc. I could tell I was definitely in labor and moving through the stages (which is a good thing—not so fun when you’re in the moment though). At around 8:15pm I got into the birthing tub again hoping for the relief it provided last time—this time it didn’t help as much, the contractions started to get closer together and the breaks in-between seemed shorter and shorter. The breaks in between were shorter, my body (which coming into this labor was already worn down from 2 months of bed rest—my muscles were much weaker because of the lack of movement and my stamina was waning). I felt like I got the short end of the stick at this point—because of the bed rest I was weaker than normal, I hadn’t slept well in basically 2 months and I started to feel like I wouldn’t be able to manage much longer. I was convinced that I had to be farther along, the pressure was incredibly low and I was sure that I had to be close to transition since my contractions were non-stop.
This is when I began to ask for meds. I was so physically tired, my body did not want to cooperate and I was feeling desperate. I had been having intense, close together contractions for the past 6 hours and physically I knew I was close to the end of my rope. I got out of the tub at 9:45pm and was checked again. I could see the disappointment in Kim’s face when I asked how far along I was, surely I had progressed in the last 3 hours. I was still only 4cm dilated but I was about 80% effaced and he was as low as he could get. I didn’t understand how my body could be having these intense contractions with no break but not be further along. I was convinced that I was going to be in labor for at least a whole more night which I knew physically I wouldn’t be able to do. I needed rest and a break but it wasn’t going to happen. We discussed with Kim some of my pain management options—I was strongly against getting an epidural going into this but I also knew that I wasn’t progressing well on my own, the pitocin was at its highest dose and I was also scared that the longer I was in labor the higher chance there was that Nicholas would begin to be in distress from the intense contractions. Kim suggested we try Nubain—Nubain is supposed to promote rest and lessen the pain perception (basically make the pain more manageable). We decided to try this before going for an epidural. Now this is when it gets debatable. Everyone in the room says the Nubain had a dramatic effect on me but I felt like it did nothing. I still felt every contraction only the Nubain made me feel completely out of it. I felt like I was out of body—I was aware of what everyone was doing around me (Devon was reading a book and eating an apple, Donnie was trying to rest himself, Kate was watching the monitors, etc.) but I couldn’t interact at all—I felt each contraction and was able to moan in pain but I didn’t feel able to move my body, etc. It was not the relief I was hoping for and my contractions were one right after the next with no break. At around 10:40pm, the Nubain was wearing off enough that I told Donnie I really needed the epidural, we asked everyone to leave the room and we talked about it for a while and decided that if I was going to physically be able to handle a vaginal delivery the only way for me to do so was by getting an epidural. (Side note: Kate said that while she was in the hall w/ Kim waiting for our decision Kim was really hoping I would get the epidural because she knew I probably needed it to relax enough to continue progressing)
Kate and Kim called the anesthesiologist and he came at 11:00pm. I was not scared of the epidural but I was terrified that I wouldn’t be able to sit still enough (through my constant contractions) to have him place the epidural. I just remember leaning forward onto Kate’s shoulder sobbing—I was getting an epidural which I was so against but my labor needed it. I remember Krissy (my other sister) telling me before I was induced that it was really helpful for her to remember that God doesn’t give you more than you can handle. I just prayed—God I know I can’t handle anymore, please make this stop. I was somehow mentally able to force myself to sit still and relax while he was placing the epidural. I think during the 30 minutes it took for him to place the epidural I was relaxed enough to begin progressing.
By 11:30 the epidural was placed, I sat back and Kate started the meds (which take 20-30 minutes to begin working). This is when things started to get exciting—Kim checked me again at 11:52 because I was feeling kind of like I needed to push and I had other signposts that delivery was impending (bloody show, incredible pressure really low, etc.) When she checked me at 11:52 I had gone from 4cm to 7-8cm and at this point Kim decided it would be best to break my water in hopes that it would further progress things and my bag of water had been bulging for the past 6 hours or so. Apparently my bag of water was pretty strong because Kim said usually when its that bulging she can break it with just a prick of her finger but that didn’t work so she broke it using the hook. The sensation of my water breaking was crazy feeling and totally not what I was thinking it would feel like (earlier around 8:30 or so when I was in the tub I thought my water had broken or that I was having a slow leak—I now know that I would definitely be able to tell if my water had broken).
At 11:56 Kim checked me again and within 4 minutes I had gone from 7cm to 10cm and complete!! It was time to start pushing! At this point Nicholas had a few decelerations and things were moving pretty quickly—they put the oxygen mask on me to just help get even more oxygen to Nicholas (he was still doing pretty well but they weren’t sure how the next part of my delivery would go so they wanted to give me O2 just in case). I started pushing at 12:02—During all of this the epidural still hadn’t kicked in! My toes were a little tingly but I was still able to move my legs, reposition myself, etc. I was holding my legs with Kate holding one foot and Donnie holding the other with Devon up by my head. Kim said I could push whenever I felt the urge to which was basically immediately. I started pushing with Kate calmly counting for me (she is so good at her job and I totally want her to be my nurse for every delivery in the future!!) Pushing felt completely natural and I was so excited and ready to meet Nicholas that I just wanted to push and push until he came but Kim wanted me to slow down a little bit. She wanted me to use the momentum of each contraction—what she didn’t realize (since the monitors had never really showed my contractions very well) was that I was constantly contracting at this point with no break in between so I just kept pushing. To be sure Kate checked my abdomen and sure enough I was contracting a lot! With every push Kate, Donnie, Devon and Kim were all watching what was going on—they all were really encouraging and got really excited with each push (“you are pushing so well! Keep doing that!” there eyes all got wide each time I pushed and I was sure he was almost out!) At this point Kim asked me if I wanted to feel my baby so I reached down and touched the top of his head! I am SO glad I did this—it is such a surreal feeling to touch your baby while he is still inside of you! Kim finally told me that he was basically out and to push more controlled and less quickly and I felt Nicholas come out—they put him on my belly (he had a really short umbilical cord only about 12 inches long) He was so tiny and warm and covered in vernix. At this point Donnie cut the cord quickly and they rushed him over to the isolette where there was a team waiting—up until this point the doctors had expected at least a month long stay in the NICU for him if not longer—only weeks before I had a consultation with the NICU dr’s who were talking survival rates with me depending on his size. Nicholas was so small and I kept waiting to hear that he was okay. I was so thankful he was born and I just couldn’t stop saying “Thank you God!” over and over—I told Donnie to go over to Nicholas and at this point I realized that nobody’s voices sounded rushed, nervous, etc. Everyone sounded positive, happy, and surprised! At this point they brought Nicholas over to me—I was shocked—my baby wasn’t being rushed to the NICU, he didn’t have tubes in him already, my child was being handed to me for the first time! I just remember sobbing and holding him and not wanting to let go—I was sure that he would have needed more medical attention but he didn’t and he was wrapped up in my arms! I held him for a few minutes then they took him back to recheck his temps, make sure his vitals were okay, etc. He scored an 8 and a 9 on his APGARS and was perfectly healthy!
I watched the surprised nurses work on him and monitor him as I delivered the afterbirth and while Kim gave me the 1 stitch I ended up needing. I came to realize that everyone’s eyes were wide while I was pushing because with each push he wasn’t just “crowning” but his whole head was pretty much coming out! Kate said with each push they thought that it would be the one to deliver him—I only pushed 7 times and Nicholas was born! I have never known what true relief felt like until I held my perfectly health 3lb 6.9oz baby—he is a complete miracle! Doctors still cant explain and have no reasoning behind how and why he is so small but healthy—the reasoning behind it is prayer! I 100% belief that Nicholas is a miracle and that my merciful and miraculous God chose to use Nicholas as a reminder of his power and might! Nicholas is a daily reminder to me of what the Lord is capable of, a reminder of the power of prayer and a reminder that God is so good and faithful! I couldn’t have asked for a better birth experience and I was so blessed! Donnie was amazing as a birth support, Devon was spectacular as a birth coach (I couldn’t have done it without her—Donnie was there to encourage and help and Devon was there to keep my going she was amazing!) Kate was the best L&D nurse ever, I truly can see that the Lord had a special purpose in making Katie a L&D nurse she was such a loving support and my midwife was calm, respectful and caring! I felt 100% supported and loved through the entire experience and Nicholas is basically the best thing ever!
Nicholas James Glenn
Born 3/3/2010 at 12:13am
3lbs 6.9oz & 15.5 inches long
**Words of caution: this birth story does contain medical phrases, body parts, etc. so if this makes you uncomfortable—don’t read haha**
I don’t know where to even begin in my birth story with Nicholas—my pregnancy was anything but easy with my experiences with hyperemesis gravidarum during weeks 5-16 of my pregnancy. My hyperemesis caused me to be on modified bed rest with 24/7 IV hydration, a zofran pump and home health care. I thankfully was given a “break” from all the crazy medical stuff during weeks 16-28—during this time I only had moderate nausea/vomiting, mild weight loss and was able to be active (meaning no bed rest, no IV pole, etc.) During this break we found that Nicholas was small for his gestational age and we were monitored closely—unfortunately his growth continued to drop lower and lower and at 28 weeks he was officially diagnosed with IUGR (intrauterine growth restriction) and I was admitted to Good Samaritan Hospital to be on strict bed rest. From weeks 28-37 I was on strict bed rest at the hospital and then was scheduled to be induced at 37 weeks (which is medically considered full term). At Nicholas’ last ultrasound (on Feb 16th) they guessed his weight to be 3lbs 7oz. and my induction was scheduled for two weeks later.
While I was on bed rest my prenatal care was transferred to the Maternal Fetal Medicine doctors at Good Sam which work with high-risk moms but thankfully we made it to full term and I was able to be transferred back to my midwives for my delivery. My induction began on Monday, March 1st. To start the induction they used a medication called cervadil-this works to ripen and thin out the cervix and prepare it for dilation and labor. I was originally going to be administered this at 9pm and stay on the special care OB floor (where I had been for the past 2 months). But since the midwives had no idea how my body or Nicholas would react to the cervadil they decided to go ahead and move me to the labor and delivery suite in case of an emergency. Devon (my sister and doula) and Donnie were with me as we packed up my room and headed over to L&D. I was really excited and wanting to get things going—I was so ready to meet my baby and to be that much closer to being off bed rest! They let me walk to L&D (which I hadn’t been allowed to do for 9 weeks!) When we got to L&D, my midwife Sue, explained the cervadil to me and put it in. Going into this induction I knew that there was a very high chance that my delivery would result in an emergency c-section as IUGR babies often don’t react well to labor. Donnie and I were really hoping to avoid a c-section, but we knew that the chances of having a successful vaginal delivery, let alone a med-free (pain med free) vaginal delivery were very slim. I had been praying that my body had naturally started to prepare itself for labor despite it being 3 weeks before my due date—when Sue checked me before putting the Cervadil in I was 1-2cm, 50% effaced and -1 station! I was so happy because I knew starting out at this point my chances of a successful induction were increased.
So at 10pm on Monday night the Cervadil was inserted (and Sue stripped my membranes which is often done to help jumpstart labor also) and I was given an ambien to help me sleep through the night (knowing that the plan was to start pitocin in the morning). At this point Devon went home, planning on coming back early the next morning—cervadil is a 12 hour long medication that sometimes needs to be administered more than once before it works. I could tell that it was working somewhat that night because I wasn’t able to sleep at all because it started very mild contractions and a lot of bad back pain (which was a foreshadowing to really bad back labor).
In the morning Sue’s shift was over and Kim, a different midwife, took over. At this point Devon came back and my other sister Kate came to work and was assigned me as a patient—having my sisters there as support made a HUGE difference in my labor experience and I will be forever grateful for their encouragement, support and love. At 9:30am Kim came and removed my cervadil and checked me again—I was at a solid 2cms of dilation, 70% effaced and -1 station—so some progress had been made but not much, but enough to start the Pitocin. Pitocin is a synthetic form of oxytocin which causes your body to contract. I was scared to start the Pit because it is known for causing really strong contractions and for making pain-med free labors much more difficult. I was still really hopeful on remaining pain-med free at this point. Kate begrudgingly started my pitocin (we joked that she had to be the ‘bad sister’—always coming to up my pitocin dosage to make stronger contractions while Devon got to be the ‘good sister’ who just sat and comforted me haha) So at 11am the pitocin was started on the lowest dose (2)—it could be increased up to the highest dose of 20. Unfortunately being on the lowest dose- it didn’t cause contractions so Kate had to continually up the dosage. During this time I walked the halls hoping that contractions would start, I had to be on the fetal monitor the entire time I was in labor (they put me on the monitors from the time they started the cervadil the night before) With Nicholas being so small and me having an anterior placenta the monitors did not like to stay on him. I had a difficult time finding positions that would allow him to stay on the monitor the entire time. By 3pm, Kim checked me again and I was at 3-4cm, 70% effaced and still -1 station. Kim also stripped my membranes again (which caused some contractions the last time it was done) Kate had the pitocin turned up to the maximum dose and this was when my labor really started. With the pitocin being so high when I started having contractions they were hard and close together—1 minute long, 2 minutes apart. I essentially would have a minute of rest between the contractions.
At this point I was still in early labor, I was excited that the contractions had actually started (even though they were really intense and close together). I was able to use my Bradley relaxation techniques to help with the pain. Devon and Donnie both encouraged me to breathe through each contraction, relax my entire body and just take one contraction at a time. I was still talking, joking, etc. at this point (a clear sign of early labor despite the close contractions). At 3:30pm Kate had the birthing tub brought into my room and I got into that. The birthing tub was a complete lifesaver for me! It dramatically helped my contractions (which were close and also in my back which was really painful). I labored in the tub until about 6pm. During this time I started to get a little more serious, not talking as much, but still managing fine. At 6pm, Devon left to briefly go home to put her son to bed (knowing I was still in early labor and it was going to be a while). I also got out of the tub at 6pm which was horrible. It was much more difficult to handle my contractions but I wanted to try some different positions to get him moving and to keep my labor going. At this point the contractions were intense but the minute long break between each contraction was enough to keep them manageable. I even joked that I didn’t understand why women get epidurals (haha this would come to bite me in the butt) having the break in between each one made it so that I was able to rest and prepare for the next one. At around 7:30pm Devon came back and at 7:45pm I was checked again. At this point the contractions were starting to get much more difficult and seemed to be closer together. When I was checked this time I was at 4cm, 70% effaced and still -1 station. This is when things began to get tough—the contractions were really intense in my back and the exhaustion of being up for over 24hours was kicking in. I was no longer joking, talking, etc. I could tell I was definitely in labor and moving through the stages (which is a good thing—not so fun when you’re in the moment though). At around 8:15pm I got into the birthing tub again hoping for the relief it provided last time—this time it didn’t help as much, the contractions started to get closer together and the breaks in-between seemed shorter and shorter. The breaks in between were shorter, my body (which coming into this labor was already worn down from 2 months of bed rest—my muscles were much weaker because of the lack of movement and my stamina was waning). I felt like I got the short end of the stick at this point—because of the bed rest I was weaker than normal, I hadn’t slept well in basically 2 months and I started to feel like I wouldn’t be able to manage much longer. I was convinced that I had to be farther along, the pressure was incredibly low and I was sure that I had to be close to transition since my contractions were non-stop.
This is when I began to ask for meds. I was so physically tired, my body did not want to cooperate and I was feeling desperate. I had been having intense, close together contractions for the past 6 hours and physically I knew I was close to the end of my rope. I got out of the tub at 9:45pm and was checked again. I could see the disappointment in Kim’s face when I asked how far along I was, surely I had progressed in the last 3 hours. I was still only 4cm dilated but I was about 80% effaced and he was as low as he could get. I didn’t understand how my body could be having these intense contractions with no break but not be further along. I was convinced that I was going to be in labor for at least a whole more night which I knew physically I wouldn’t be able to do. I needed rest and a break but it wasn’t going to happen. We discussed with Kim some of my pain management options—I was strongly against getting an epidural going into this but I also knew that I wasn’t progressing well on my own, the pitocin was at its highest dose and I was also scared that the longer I was in labor the higher chance there was that Nicholas would begin to be in distress from the intense contractions. Kim suggested we try Nubain—Nubain is supposed to promote rest and lessen the pain perception (basically make the pain more manageable). We decided to try this before going for an epidural. Now this is when it gets debatable. Everyone in the room says the Nubain had a dramatic effect on me but I felt like it did nothing. I still felt every contraction only the Nubain made me feel completely out of it. I felt like I was out of body—I was aware of what everyone was doing around me (Devon was reading a book and eating an apple, Donnie was trying to rest himself, Kate was watching the monitors, etc.) but I couldn’t interact at all—I felt each contraction and was able to moan in pain but I didn’t feel able to move my body, etc. It was not the relief I was hoping for and my contractions were one right after the next with no break. At around 10:40pm, the Nubain was wearing off enough that I told Donnie I really needed the epidural, we asked everyone to leave the room and we talked about it for a while and decided that if I was going to physically be able to handle a vaginal delivery the only way for me to do so was by getting an epidural. (Side note: Kate said that while she was in the hall w/ Kim waiting for our decision Kim was really hoping I would get the epidural because she knew I probably needed it to relax enough to continue progressing)
Kate and Kim called the anesthesiologist and he came at 11:00pm. I was not scared of the epidural but I was terrified that I wouldn’t be able to sit still enough (through my constant contractions) to have him place the epidural. I just remember leaning forward onto Kate’s shoulder sobbing—I was getting an epidural which I was so against but my labor needed it. I remember Krissy (my other sister) telling me before I was induced that it was really helpful for her to remember that God doesn’t give you more than you can handle. I just prayed—God I know I can’t handle anymore, please make this stop. I was somehow mentally able to force myself to sit still and relax while he was placing the epidural. I think during the 30 minutes it took for him to place the epidural I was relaxed enough to begin progressing.
By 11:30 the epidural was placed, I sat back and Kate started the meds (which take 20-30 minutes to begin working). This is when things started to get exciting—Kim checked me again at 11:52 because I was feeling kind of like I needed to push and I had other signposts that delivery was impending (bloody show, incredible pressure really low, etc.) When she checked me at 11:52 I had gone from 4cm to 7-8cm and at this point Kim decided it would be best to break my water in hopes that it would further progress things and my bag of water had been bulging for the past 6 hours or so. Apparently my bag of water was pretty strong because Kim said usually when its that bulging she can break it with just a prick of her finger but that didn’t work so she broke it using the hook. The sensation of my water breaking was crazy feeling and totally not what I was thinking it would feel like (earlier around 8:30 or so when I was in the tub I thought my water had broken or that I was having a slow leak—I now know that I would definitely be able to tell if my water had broken).
At 11:56 Kim checked me again and within 4 minutes I had gone from 7cm to 10cm and complete!! It was time to start pushing! At this point Nicholas had a few decelerations and things were moving pretty quickly—they put the oxygen mask on me to just help get even more oxygen to Nicholas (he was still doing pretty well but they weren’t sure how the next part of my delivery would go so they wanted to give me O2 just in case). I started pushing at 12:02—During all of this the epidural still hadn’t kicked in! My toes were a little tingly but I was still able to move my legs, reposition myself, etc. I was holding my legs with Kate holding one foot and Donnie holding the other with Devon up by my head. Kim said I could push whenever I felt the urge to which was basically immediately. I started pushing with Kate calmly counting for me (she is so good at her job and I totally want her to be my nurse for every delivery in the future!!) Pushing felt completely natural and I was so excited and ready to meet Nicholas that I just wanted to push and push until he came but Kim wanted me to slow down a little bit. She wanted me to use the momentum of each contraction—what she didn’t realize (since the monitors had never really showed my contractions very well) was that I was constantly contracting at this point with no break in between so I just kept pushing. To be sure Kate checked my abdomen and sure enough I was contracting a lot! With every push Kate, Donnie, Devon and Kim were all watching what was going on—they all were really encouraging and got really excited with each push (“you are pushing so well! Keep doing that!” there eyes all got wide each time I pushed and I was sure he was almost out!) At this point Kim asked me if I wanted to feel my baby so I reached down and touched the top of his head! I am SO glad I did this—it is such a surreal feeling to touch your baby while he is still inside of you! Kim finally told me that he was basically out and to push more controlled and less quickly and I felt Nicholas come out—they put him on my belly (he had a really short umbilical cord only about 12 inches long) He was so tiny and warm and covered in vernix. At this point Donnie cut the cord quickly and they rushed him over to the isolette where there was a team waiting—up until this point the doctors had expected at least a month long stay in the NICU for him if not longer—only weeks before I had a consultation with the NICU dr’s who were talking survival rates with me depending on his size. Nicholas was so small and I kept waiting to hear that he was okay. I was so thankful he was born and I just couldn’t stop saying “Thank you God!” over and over—I told Donnie to go over to Nicholas and at this point I realized that nobody’s voices sounded rushed, nervous, etc. Everyone sounded positive, happy, and surprised! At this point they brought Nicholas over to me—I was shocked—my baby wasn’t being rushed to the NICU, he didn’t have tubes in him already, my child was being handed to me for the first time! I just remember sobbing and holding him and not wanting to let go—I was sure that he would have needed more medical attention but he didn’t and he was wrapped up in my arms! I held him for a few minutes then they took him back to recheck his temps, make sure his vitals were okay, etc. He scored an 8 and a 9 on his APGARS and was perfectly healthy!
I watched the surprised nurses work on him and monitor him as I delivered the afterbirth and while Kim gave me the 1 stitch I ended up needing. I came to realize that everyone’s eyes were wide while I was pushing because with each push he wasn’t just “crowning” but his whole head was pretty much coming out! Kate said with each push they thought that it would be the one to deliver him—I only pushed 7 times and Nicholas was born! I have never known what true relief felt like until I held my perfectly health 3lb 6.9oz baby—he is a complete miracle! Doctors still cant explain and have no reasoning behind how and why he is so small but healthy—the reasoning behind it is prayer! I 100% belief that Nicholas is a miracle and that my merciful and miraculous God chose to use Nicholas as a reminder of his power and might! Nicholas is a daily reminder to me of what the Lord is capable of, a reminder of the power of prayer and a reminder that God is so good and faithful! I couldn’t have asked for a better birth experience and I was so blessed! Donnie was amazing as a birth support, Devon was spectacular as a birth coach (I couldn’t have done it without her—Donnie was there to encourage and help and Devon was there to keep my going she was amazing!) Kate was the best L&D nurse ever, I truly can see that the Lord had a special purpose in making Katie a L&D nurse she was such a loving support and my midwife was calm, respectful and caring! I felt 100% supported and loved through the entire experience and Nicholas is basically the best thing ever!
1 month update
I am going to attempt to write a blog post and actually finish it—see in the month since my last post I have sat down and attempted numerous times to update about Nicholas, each time it ends in a crying baby or me being side tracked by something more important I should be doing (i.e. laundry, dishes, etc.)So now as I sit here with my little one snuggled up in the moby *fast asleep* (please don’t jinx myself! Please don’t jinx myself!) I am going to update on my first month as a mom (and eventually I would like to post my birth story but seeing as I started typing it out for my own records and it was roughly 4 pages long I *may* need to write a condensed version for on here—plus I doubt you all want the details anyway)
Birth stats:
3lbs 6oz, 15.5 inches long
1 month stats:
4lbs 9oz, 17.5 inches long—he is still not on the charts (with the exception of his head circumference which was in the 2nd percentile haha) but I love love love my little peanut- I feel like he is becoming more “baby” and less “newborn” everyday. Things have been relatively easy I would say. The first two weeks were kinda rough mainly because of feeding issues. Nicholas doesn’t have any issues eating but its more trying to find the best way for him to get food. With him being as small as he is nursing was originally out of the question—we attempted (even with a shield) and got nowhere (which I expected). I rented a hospital grade pump and was pumping and bottle feeding every 2-3 hours which basically made me want to die haha I hated pumping and after being in a hospital room for 2 months and feeling trapped there I very much felt trapped/tethered by my pump…I felt like it was making things impossible for me and I felt very just…bleh I don’t know how to explain it but I am sure any other mom who has had to exclusively pump can relate to those feelings that occur in the first few weeks. So in the first 2 weeks he was home it was more an issue of me crying every night when I had to wake up and pump and bottle feed—I have been so blessed though to have a completely supportive and encouraging husband! He would wake up in the middle of the nights to give Nicholas a bottle while I pumped or he would go get my pump parts ready so I didn’t have to get out of bed—he is basically amazing!
But after those initial 2 weeks I became sort of resigned to my position of milk-machine but I was still hopeful to be able to get away from the pumping and transition to nursing—so I met w/ a lactation consultant, we tried a variety of things such as supplemental nursing systems (SNS), modifying my pumping schedule and I even tried nursing! He is able to nurse but because of his size he gets tuckered out pretty quickly and wont get a full feeding and when he does get a full feeding it uses so much energy that it kind of eliminates half the calories he just consumed (and at less than 5 lbs he needs all the calories he can get!) So the past 5 and a half weeks have been spent w/ me trying different feeding techniques which include: pumping and bottle feeding every 2-3hours, SNS and bottle feeding, SNS and feeding, combo bottle feeding and nursing, exclusively nursing on-demand and weighing him throughout each nursing session to watch his intake, exclusively nursing on-demand w/ no weighing—the first time I attempted this I got 2 days in and ended up w/ plugged ducts and mastitis which definitely knocked me on my butt for a good 4-5 days but I got to experience what its like to be sick while having to still care for a baby and through God’s good grace I got through it and it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.
Other than the ridiculous amount of time I’ve spent stressing over how to get my milk to my baby, I’ve really enjoyed being a mommy. I love the bond I already have with Nicholas and nothing beats the feeling of being able to just lie in bed and snuggle with a sweet smelling newborn! Nicholas is a very good natured baby and is in general pretty content—he has been a great sleeper too! After the first 2 weeks he started sleeping in 4 hour stretches and now he will give us a 6 hour stretch a couple of times a week! He is becoming a lot more alert and really enjoys bath time, walks in the neighborhood, dancing around the house w/ mommy (in the moby of course) and co-sleeping in the morning w/ mommy after daddy has left for work (shh! Don’t tell Donnie about our little ritual after he leaves—it involves sleeping in bed together and then watching Regis and Kelly haha)
So my sweet little boys first month has come and gone and I am so sad that it went by fast but I am thoroughly enjoying him changing everyday—God has blessed our family so much, every time I feel frustrated I just stop myself and look at him…I mean really look at him and I’m reminded of how much of a true miracle he is—I am reminded of the faithfulness of God, of God’s sovereignty, of God’s grace and mercy and I am astounded still to think that this sweet baby boy was just a single cell 10 months ago—its amazing! And as always God is just SO GOOD!
Monday, March 8, 2010
such an amazing God
So I have been needing to update since Nicholas was born but I've been busy to say the least haha even now I am still in so much shock and happiness and just overwhelmed with how things have ended up that I dont know if I am even quite ready to write about my experience
But I do want to say that I have been more blessed by my pregnancy experience and labor/delivery experience than I ever thought possible--I have come to know God on such a more intimate level through all this, when I look in my baby's eyes I see the sheer strength of my God--He created this life, He sustained me, He grew Nicholas and He held us in his hand through it all
Nicholas was born at 3lbs 6.9 oz., 15.5 inches long on Wed March 3 at 12:13am--my induction began on March 1st at 9:30pm (I am working on my birth story but am still a little too emotional to get it finished lol) Nicholas scored an amazing 8 and 9 on his APGARS and came out of the womb able to regulate his own temperature, breathe on his own, cry, etc. He was 100% healthy and amazing--despite his incredibly small size he is making such incredible strides!
God has truly done a miracle in my sons life!
I will update with more details, pictures, etc. once I finally am out of my emotional, foggy-mommy brain...and yes, I know that this foggy-mommy brain can last quite some time but I promise details ARE coming
But I do want to say that I have been more blessed by my pregnancy experience and labor/delivery experience than I ever thought possible--I have come to know God on such a more intimate level through all this, when I look in my baby's eyes I see the sheer strength of my God--He created this life, He sustained me, He grew Nicholas and He held us in his hand through it all
Nicholas was born at 3lbs 6.9 oz., 15.5 inches long on Wed March 3 at 12:13am--my induction began on March 1st at 9:30pm (I am working on my birth story but am still a little too emotional to get it finished lol) Nicholas scored an amazing 8 and 9 on his APGARS and came out of the womb able to regulate his own temperature, breathe on his own, cry, etc. He was 100% healthy and amazing--despite his incredibly small size he is making such incredible strides!
God has truly done a miracle in my sons life!
I will update with more details, pictures, etc. once I finally am out of my emotional, foggy-mommy brain...and yes, I know that this foggy-mommy brain can last quite some time but I promise details ARE coming
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