Season of Sickness

This winter has truly been the Season of Sickness here at the Glenn house. I would always hear about other families who had what seemed like an entire month of illness but until I had a child it had never been me. It’s been seriously ridiculous. So far, since Christmas we’ve had:

Nicholas: 3 ear infections, 17 days worth of the stomach flu, 14 days worth of a NASTY cold, 2 ER visits, 2 days of hospital stays and 1 surgery

Lauren: 4 days worth of strep throat, 3 days worth of stomach flu, 5 days worth of colds

Donnie: 3 days worth of stomach flu, 7 days worth of cold/flu

Apparently our house is one big cesspool of germs. But on the bright side I feel like I can now say I’ve handled it—that we came out unscathed and that I never want to be puked on again (at least not until next winter please!) If only we had had the foresight to buy stock in Lysol….

The really unfortunate part of all this sickness is how rough it’s been on Nicholas. For an RSS kiddo, illness is a BIG deal. While Nicholas didn’t lose a ton of weight (only a few ounces) it’s a BIG deal for him. At his 9 month well visit Nicholas was 12lbs even, now at almost 12 months Nicholas is still only 12.1lbs….not so good for 3 months of growth. While yes he had the stomach flu, the times he wasn’t pukey he was being fed HIGH calorie food (I’m talking toast with butter on BOTH sides per our nutritionist, entire bowls of ice cream in the evening…any and everything we could do to get as many calories in him as possible!) Unfortunately they think his lack of weight gain is also attributed to his growth curve slowing down and perhaps plateauing which is common for RSS kids. He had been doing really well, chugging along on his own little curve, that paralleled the “normal” growth curve, just well below it. Now that curve is taking a nose dive and its not so good.

For us that means in the next couple months that if we cant get his weight back up, growth increased than we will be back to the pediatric gastroenterologist to discuss G-tubes and those options. At this point, the thought of a G-tube (feeding tube that goes directly into the stomach) is far less anxiety-provoking than it used to be. If it means there is less stress on our family to get Nick to grow than I am all for it!

We also recently had a very important appointment with Nicholas’ new endocrinologist who is going to be his primary doc (along with our awesome pediatrician). At this appointment we decided it was time to start Nicholas on growth hormone therapy! This is big exciting news for us because hopefully once he starts GHT he will obviously grow better, gain weight easier (hopefully), get sick less, have more stable blood sugar along with other positives. The biggest hurdle we have with starting this will be getting insurance approval. Often times insurance companies don’t approve this therapy since it will be something we will need for quite a few years. GHT involves giving Nicholas nightly injections of the synthetic growth hormone. For most RSS kids the GHT lasts well into adolescence which from an insurance perspective that is them paying for this expensive therapy from age 1 to possible age 15+. We could really use prayer about this, that starting this therapy will be an easy transition and that Nicholas will handle the injections with ease. Also we could use prayer that we will get insurance approval very quickly! Some friends of ours that have a daughter with RSS were very blessed and got insurance coverage within 2 weeks! That is basically unheard of, many families have to fight with the insurance company for 6+ months—hopefully that wont be us!

So while this has been a season of sickness for us its been a huge season of growth also. For me its been growing in my confidence in my parenting, growing in my abilities to turn these things over to the Lord. Without realizing it I’ve been holding on so hard to Nicholas’ medical situation. I felt like I was giving these things over to the Lord but I was still clenching them with white knuckles out of fear that if I loosened my grip things would fall apart. In doing this I was missing out on the relief that comes with trusting in the Lord wholeheartedly, I’ve also missed out on experiencing the overwhelming grace that the Lord could be pouring out on me if I only let Him. He has given me grace upon grace to deal with the circumstances that He has perfectly portioned out for me.

“For in his fullness, we have all received, and grace upon grace” John 1:16

I am so thankful for the experiences and struggles I’ve had in the last year (Nicholas’ medical stuff, my difficult pregnancy, my struggles with not being able to nurse my baby, then the struggles with getting my baby to eat in general, the struggles of having surgeries and illness and many other things). I have really learned what it means to go with the flow, to give it all to the Lord and just to put my faith in Him that the season I was experiencing is just that, a season of my life. So in this season of sickness I give thanks to God that he has portioned and appointed all the seasons of my life and that while things may be hard I know there is another season just around the corner.

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace. –Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Feb?? I though it was January!

**Sidenote-- I finally got around to writing a new blog post (wrote it Jan 3rd) but I really wanted to update with pictures so I just saved the written entry to post once I got my pictures uploaded...long story short: I cant find my camera cord so no pictures are going to be in this post...and its really outdated already...clearly blogging is falling pretty low on priority list but nonetheless, enjoy!**

I am writing this more for memories sake—I seriously cant remember anything these days and I know I will look back in sadness that I didn’t write these things down so unfortunately for you, you are going to get to read all the 1^st things and exciting moments in the last few months.

Nicholas had his first Halloween which was great fun (wow this is really long overdue). He went as a giraffe AND a penguin since his mom cant decide on anything. We went to the annual Glenn Harvest party which was good times had by all and I am sure next year Nick will be big time nommin on some 15 bean soup (family tradition). He helped “pass out candy” at his Aunt Katie’s house and loved the excitement once all the cousins came back dressed in their costumes. He was 7 months old for this stuff. At 7 months he also got his first teeth (bottom 2) and started army crawling around.

I’ll do my best to condense and add fun pictures. Since I last blogged lots have gone one. Nicholas had his first Thanksgiving! We traveled up to Cleveland to spend time w/ my mom’s side of the family. We stayed at my Gramma’s house and my sister and her family was there too! It was great fun to watch Nicholas really interacting with his cousins for the first time. He is finally army crawling so he is all over the place and really enjoys playing now. He also became much more vocal during this trip, talking up a storm. He enjoyed meat for the first time and loved that I finally got around to getting him a food mill. His Thanksgiving meal consisted of Ham, turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green beans, corn, cranberry sauce, stuffing and a little whipped cream off mom’s pie. He also had his first surgery and hospital stay in November at 8 months which I wrote about in my last post.

Moving right along—Nicholas had his first Christmas…more like 1^st Christmas week which involved our small group Christmas party where he really enjoyed this creepy squishy chicken thing that pushed out an egg…bad description but it was awful and was one of the white elephant gifts we did. We had Christmas eve at Donnie’s parents house which is always fun. We went over for breakfast at 10 and Nicholas enjoyed a hearty breakfast of ham, eggs (1^st time!), breakfast potatoes, fruit and probably other stuff I didn’t see him get. We opened presents which is mayhem if you can imagine 21 people (including 9 children ages 5,4,3,2,2,2,9 months, 6 months, 3 months) and Nicholas got so spoiled and it was wonderful! We then had the traditional dinner of beef stroganoff and then headed up to my parents to spend the night. We were all surprised when we found out that my brother had booked a surprise flight into Cincinnati to surprise my parents! It was great since my brother has only gotten to see Nicholas one other time (this past July). We had a calm Christmas morning and Nicholas got spoiled again! My sister and her family got into town that afternoon and my Aunt came over as well for Christmas Dinner. Nicholas ate about ¼ of my piece of red velvet cake and ice cream and was whining for more. Now I am sure with all this food talk you are wondering how his feeding therapy is going…well its good. We have transitioned to focusing more on speech but the problem we are having now is that he LOVES table food so much that he doesn’t want a bottle anymore but he still needs the bottle for the calories. Its quite the conundrum but we are working on it. I don’t blame him, who would want a boring old bottle when you could have ham or pie haha

Nicholas also had his first trip to the shooting range this past December haha a couple days after Christmas we went to the range with Dave, Megan and George and Andrew & Stephanie and it was really fun! We got a few looks for bringing babies to a shooting range and no mom, they weren’t down by the shooting guns, it wasn’t loud or dirty haha This is when Nicholas officially said his first word- Bear. He got some books about bears for Christmas and we had been reading them and it must have stuck. Since then he has also said Puffs and Up (when playing with blocks). Then when we were in Indiana for New Years Day celebrating with Donnie’s extended family he waved and said bye bye for the first time! Its probably the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!

Lets see Nicholas also met one of my best friends, Jessi, this December (she was my maid of honor). I love introducing Nick to important people in my life. Donnie and I spent New Years Eve in Indianapolis with my best friend Dani and her husband Dan. It was quite a momentus occasion. We were playing a board game (exciting, right?!) and Donnie got laughing so hard that he was crying. Why is this important you ask? Well lets see, I’ve been with Donnie almost 7 years (since 2004) and I have NEVER seen a tear come out of his eye. I have barely even seen him tear up let alone have an actual tear come to fruition. I was so excited and I am glad to know that my husband does indeed have tear ducts haha. Nicholas also enjoyed dinner at Maggiano’s that night as you can see from the picture.((womp womp...no pic sorry guys!-- its a cute one if I ever get to posting it!)

I think that is all the big stuff that’s been happening in the past couple of weeks. We aren’t too exciting but I love our life. Things are good. Nicholas is good. Life is just good :-)

another first checked off the list...

I really am horrible at updating my blog, I am so uninspired to write and when I do write its always long and too much detail for anyone to read. Nicholas is now 8 months old...well 8 and a half months haha I feel its cliche to say he's growing up so fast but he really is! I love that his personality is coming out so much and he is such a little stinker! There is really no other way to put it than saying he.is.a.stinker :-) He has started to army crawl EVERYWHERE and is really stinkin fast and of course loves to crawl to places he shouldnt be. Nevermind the HUGE open space we have in the living room for him to play in and crawl around he insists on crawling in the 6 inch space behind the recliner and since he is little he can fit in all these ridiculously tiny places that make it near impossible for Donnie and I to get him out of.

I dont really want to baby proof my house, like, I kind of think we just need to work with him on not touching things he shouldnt touch because when we go to other people's houses they arent going to have every little thing baby proofed. I am going to probably get a gate to block off the kitchen but thats more for my convenience than for him. I dunno maybe I am being silly and will change my mind when he gets even more mobile but its what we agree on for now.

He also is doing AWESOME with eating!! PRAISE GOD! We had really been struggling, I was at my wits end (probably why I didnt blog much), etc. He has started feeding therapy and is doing great--the therapist has some interesting tricks for us to try and we are currently working with him to get him to be able to hold his own bottle and tip his head back to drink, working on pacing himself (he gulps and doesnt breathe which is problematic for a variety of reasons) and we are working on introducing more solids. Right now he is pretty consistently eating 1/4 jar of baby food twice a day...1/2 jar total. I gave up on making his own food b/c we 1. have no freezer space, 2. with him only eating 1/2 jar total I think we can splurge the 47 cents to buy him a jar every two days haha He is also going to be evaluated for physical therapy in the next couple weeks to work on his low muscle tone.

Nicholas also had his first surgery which went well (thanks for all the thoughts and prayers!) I didnt even cry (well just tears welling up) when they took him back. I am such a big girl! haha He was so stinkin cute in his little gown w/ his itty bitty blood pressure cuff and little IV. He was such a trooper through it all!


RSS kids are at a pretty high risk of developing fasting hypoglycemia and ketonemia so I requested he come in extra early for surgery and get an IV w/ a sugar solution to help w/ that since he couldnt eat. His sugars stayed great during surgery and after (he was still on the IV) but he was in a decent amount of pain so they gave him some morphine so we between trying to wake up from the anesthesia and the morphine he was really out of it and didnt want to eat. After 2 hours of not wanting to eat they were wanting to discharge us but I was "that mom" and said I wasnt comfortable taking him home until he had eaten. They decided to take him off the IV to see if that helped his appetite and...it did nothing. He still wouldnt eat and after being off the IV for 20 mins they tested his sugars and they had dropped about 20 points....sooooo they admitted us which I am glad they did b/c I would not have wanted to take him home and had to be dealing w/ all that, second guessing whether to bring him back, etc.

(He looks so sad...)

(Just kidding! He was smiley and flirting with nurses about 85% of the time we were there)

We stayed until he was doing okay with feeding and was able to stablize his feedings w/o fluids and keep his sugars up. We were finally discharged Thurs. evening after meeting with an educator from the Diabetes Center to get a glucose meter and learn to check his sugars. The endocrinologist (who we are already seeing in march) wants us to keep track and make sure he doesnt get low sugars...but after all that we can at least say we are done with his first surgery, I've experienced staying in the hospital w/ LB, watching him get an IV, etc. and we all survived and came out unscathed (well LB is still not 100% but doing well)

We also found out this month that Nicky definitely has Russell Silver Syndrome (RSS). We had some genetic testing done and we finally got the results back which confirmed his diagnosis. About 40% of kids with RSS never get a biologically positive test result but we did which was good because it got rid of any doubts we had.

In the last year so much has happened, as a family we have been through so much between my hyperemesis and IV therapy, 10 weeks in the hospital on bedrest, a scary and hard labor and delivery, having an amazing & miraculous healthy 3lb baby!, taking my baby home and being terrified by his lack of growth, seeing too many dr's to count, spending hours in waiting rooms, getting tests done, talking with dr's, doing research, having therapy evaluations, therapy sessions, etc. This past year has been far from easy but it has been SO GOOD! We are so blessed and even as things arent really seeming to slow down (or get easier) with having the addition of blood sugar issues, physical therapy, etc. I am so thankful for everything in my life. I've been really meditating on Psalm 71 lately and have found such peace!


In you, Lord, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame.
In your righteousness, rescue me and deliver me;
turn your ear to me and save me.
Be my rock of refuge,
to which I can always go;
give the command to save me,
for you are my rock and my fortress...

Though you have made me see troubles,
many and bitter,
YOU will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
you will again bring me up.
You will increase my honor
and comfort me once more.

He is SO good!

ohh oh we're half way there...

So 6 months have come and gone for Nicholas...I cant believe that he is 7 months already!! At 6 months:

- Nicholas weighed 10lbs 3oz. and was 23.5 in. long!! Go Nicky!!



- Between Nicholas and myself we had 7 doctors appointments during his 6th month



-Nicholas has gotten MUCH better at sitting unassisted and playing with toys (his favorites include: the exersaucer, crinkly parrot and any paper product)



-Nicholas has begun to roll like a mad man--he can get halfway across the living room in literally 30 seconds-- this marks the end of me being able to leave him hanging out on my bed while I get dressed



-I discovered Nicholas likes a variety of music but very much dislikes the band Dispatch for some reason



-Nicholas was still teething (sidenote: I think the tooth might *finally* be popping through at 7months 2 wks)



-had his first ride on big Uncle Joe's combines :-)



-Nicholas got another new cousin! (Hope Rose--so precious!)



-was still wearing newborn size clothing



-had his 1st night away from both mommy and daddy/ had his first slumber party with grammy and pawpaw



-tried sweet potatoes and carrots for the first time, both were good but Nicky still isnt very interested in eating anything really...but at least he doesnt make an awful pained face like he did when we tried to give him green beans at 5 months



-had his first fun experience in the johnny jump-up which he just spins in circles in because he doesnt weigh enough to bounce in it yet-- he loves it all the same though :-)



I think those are the big things that happened at 6 months--I know I am forgetting things and I am a lame mom because I dont document anything really (my thoughts on this: I never remember to take video, pictures, write down anything, etc. because I am always too enthralled in the moment and dont think "hey I should take a picture of this" until after the fact then I am bummed when I realize that our first family photo wasnt taken until Nicholas was 6 months old! how is that possible?!)



6 months was a busy month for us, as is every month, filled w/ doctors appointments, play dates, therapy stuff, going for walks, etc. I am waiting for the pause--where I feel like I can "catch up and catch my breath" but I am thinking that moment might not ever come--I suppose the best I can do is just be in the moment every day and enjoy the time w/ my little buddy...I can't wait for the holiday season to watch Nicholas enjoy his first Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas! The next time I post I should have some ridiculously cute pictures of Nicky in his 2 halloween costumes- yes thats right, 2! haha I really couldnt pass them up especially since they were a whopping $4/each. He will just have to do a costume change 1/2 way through the evening or maybe I will bring him in his Halloween costume to church on Sunday the 31st hehe I would be that ridiculous and I know I can count on at least 5 people loving that I am bringing him to church in costume..okay who can guess the 5 people? ;-)

boring

I never feel like I have much to blog about. Actually, I have things I could blog about but I figure it will be too boring to read- unless you are like my parents or siblings that might be interested in the mundane things I do with Nicholas. I dont want to become one of those people who blog everytime their baby has a dirty diaper or giggles haha I know those things are probably only interesting to me--but nonetheless I am blogging today in hopes I will be inspired about something.

So I guess I will just update about what is going on with Nicholas until I am inspired--hey its easier to update here than to tell all my close family and friends individually. Nicholas has an evaluation with First Steps (Ky's early intervention program) coming up to see if he is eligible/needs any services. He is doing awesome with gross motor which is usually an issue with RSS kids but his communication and problem solving might be needing a little help. He has his first appointment with Gastro (who I feel like are the ONLY people we havent seen at Children's lol) Hopefully this will go smoothly and we will get some answers about his reflux (which seems to be rearing its ugly head again, just in time for our insurance to stop covering his current reflux medicine...awesome, not!) He also may have some delayed gastric emptying issues but that will be determined I guess.

Nicholas also had his appointment with urology and we found out that he will have to have surgery--orchiopexy. This surgery probably wont be a big deal, I mean its only a 2 hour long procedure and we will be in and out in the same day but I am really struggling with my anxiety about this. I guess any mom can relate to the fears about their child having any procedure done I am just terrified that something will go wrong, you always hear those stories about a child that goes in for a routine procedure and than something horrible happens. I guess the worry may stem from the feeling that I am ALWAYS (actually let me rephrase...often...always is such a God word) "that person". If something has a 2% chance of happening you can bet that it will happen to me...my hyperemesis, my IUGR, my experiences with going in to have my wisdom teeth removed and ending up needing an emergency appendectomy (long story for another post...it was ridiculous to say the least). I just have bad luck, but as I Christian I feel like bad luck isnt something I should even believe or say or whatever

Luck doesnt really have a place in Christianity, does it? I mean I suppose this is just another situation that God is going to use to teach me about His sovereignty---my "luck" is a moot point, I have no luck--I have a strong and powerful God that controls my life and my experiences. I guess its just hard because I feel like as I've struggled with anxiety and worry over the years I have accumulated many verses but I feel like those verses are just laying flat to me (which is embarassing for me to even admit, that the Word of God is laying flat) I dont know if its because I have studied them so much that I am losing the "awe factor" if you can call it that. I dont think that should ever happen--I should always be in awe of how good and faithful God is, I should be in awe of His wonderful sovereignty and I should easily be reminded that I can put my faith in Him no matter the circumstance. I wonder if maybe just breaking apart the verses may help, word by word, examining why the verses are worded and placed where they are?

I know worry is something I (and many others, if not everyone) will struggle w/ their entire lives--how can you not, even if your worry is just in an initial instance its still there. Now--I know that this is something I really need to chat with God about, my feeling stagnant in His word. I know its my own fault, and I am sure I will learn something from these feelings but right now it is making me uncomfortable. Perhaps being uncomfortable is a good thing, I should probably be more concerned if I was comfortable in my static position. So, I dont know where I am going with this anymore? (my brain is frazzled lately, I swear as soon as you walk in Children's Hospital there is something that scrambles a mothers brain and makes her incapable of having full thoughts haha)

Other than the surgery Nicky is doing well--I am adjusting to dealing with rude comments from strangers about his size as some of you might have seen on Facebook. Yes people are that ridiculous and dense...apparently some individuals are born with no social filter. A good friend recommended I use those comments as an opportunity to witness to those people..."Yes he is small, he is my miracle baby, let me tell you about the awesome work God has done in our lives" I guess I'm just not holy enough for that, or I am too cynical as I think of a bunch of not so Christian things I could say instead of thinking how can I turn this into an opportunity to witness. Guess that will be something else I can work on...

Long, LONG story short--I have alot of things I should be working on right now, and I think I am...so if I dont post for a while it will probably be because I am so busy working on these things ;-) but really...just add it to my mental to do list of things to work on which I think is the plight of being a stay at home mom though I wouldnt have it any other way.

how he loves us

So here we are at the end of little buddy's 5 month of life and I am astonished. I cant believe he is almost half a year old! 6 months old seems so old (and seasoned mamas reading this can chuckle to themselves at my new mom silliness)! I think Nicholas has turned that corner of being a little person now, no longer the little baby, he has such personality now! In the last month or so he has: learned to roll from both belly to back and back to belly, can stand unassisted when holding onto the criss-crossing bars on his playmat, has started to show a little attitude already (complete with a lovely lip snarl), has discovered the full dexterity of his fingers and hands and he is overall just a loving sweet natured peanut!

I want to keep track of his month stats but I am trying to just avoid thinking about his growth as much as possible--you know just avoiding inevitable things is healthy ;-) But I do know that he was roughly 9lbs 14.5oz at his plagiocephaly appointment. (Which sidenote: Donnie weighed 9lbs 15oz AT BIRTH...Poor, poor Pammy :-) That is just ridiculous! ) As far as health things go I am starting to adjust to having weekly if not sometimes bi-weekly dr's appointments. Hopefully after Sept things will let up a little bit and we can go to monthly visits.

When it comes to his health stuff I just know that God is using Nicholas in more ways than one. First--I post on a few private listservs for Russell Silver Syndrome moms to get advice, support, etc. I posted some about Nicholas just to see what other experiences were like and I got *numerous* replies from the other moms that they've never heard of an RSS child who is doing as well as Nicky--Most said their kiddos didnt reach 10lbs until age 1, most were on feeding tubes by 5 months, many had had numerous surgeries. Even the different specialists we've seen at Children's have been shocked at his good health considering his health condition. Yet again, Nicky stumps doctors and people with how awesome he is doing! God is just so good, and not because Nicky is doing well (God would still be good even if things were much worse) but because He is using Nicholas in such a unique way. He is showing His awesome power through my son and I love that!

Lately I've been really thinking about God's love for us and how much I am learning about this through my experiences as a mother. Basically I cry everytime I think about it...which is basically every time I am driving and listening to the radio. So if you happen to drive by me and I have tears streaming down my face its probably for a good reason. This song is really getting to me lately:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCunuL58odQ

"And we are His portion and He is our prize, Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes, If His grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking."

I cant get over how much I love Nicholas and it makes me think about how much *my* parents love me, how even though when I was a teenager and out of control I would scream and yell convinced that my parents didnt care about me because of xyz (which xyz was always for my own good). How could I have ever thought that?! And even more so, how did I ever think that God didnt care about me?! Oh, How He Loves Us! I've gone through some pretty horrible experiences that led me to believe that in this fallen world there is no God who lovingly let those things happen to me. How wrong could I have been?! He was there the whole time, has been there everytime since. Okay I am rambling and this doesnt make any sense...but nonetheless...I am learning so much everyday about my God and His love and how my earthly love for Nicholas is only a fraction of His love for me. I am so thankful to be having these experiences that teach me more about who God is.

As the months go on, and Nicholas gets older I am loving seeing life through his eyes (which is so cheesetastic that I cant believe I just said it!...I am one of those moms hehe) I cant wait to see what 6 months has in store for us! I am sure it will be a fantastic month and I am sure that I will be so sad to see it go...I remember 6 weeks just like it was yesterday....

a short one for once

-I figured I should jump on the bandwagon w/ everyone doing bullet point posts lately--I know, I know, my blog is always long and wordy but maybe if I update short posts more often I can cut back on that

-I joined the MAGIC Foundation (Major Aspects of Growth In Children) and in becoming a member they sent me this great comprehensive guidebook about RSS/SGA. I've been reading it everyday bit by bit (its LONG and a lot of medical jargon) It has been great! I actually understand the genetics (shock!) and it makes me appreciative that I had to take statistics in college and learn how to read medical & academic journals--who-da known that would come in handy?? (and thanks again to my sister Devon who taught me & my classmates college statistics over speakerphone since our prof was an idiot)

-We leave for Lake Barkley on Wed--and I am such a buzz kill already, I know it will be fun but I'm dreading it simply because I dont want to pack. Vacations lose alot of their fun factor when you have to pack for 3 people, calculate amount of frozen breastmilk to bring and factor in all possibilities so you dont run out, etc. That and the fact that I will have to unpack our suitcases from Cleveland to re-pack them for Barkley...I know, thats sad right?

- I've been thinking alot about my marriage lately and I just love Donnie and am so thankful that I am in a Christian marriage above anything else--I'm going to this seminar at my church about this book "The God Empowered Wife" I read it not long after I got married but I wanted to go back and re-read before the seminar...I just love this: "Relationships are God's vice grips. They squeeze you until your sins ooze out--sins you wouldnt have had to face otherwise, but that enslave you and separate you from God" Wow! doesnt that make marriage sound so fun!? haha actually its great and so true...I could go on and on about this book but I'll save that for a long post after the seminar

-Man, I suck, even my bullet points are long :-/